Kunoichi Marmalade
by antiassasinguy
Summary: What happens when you're bored off your rocker one night in a bar? Entertain yourself of course! Ladies and Gentlemen... This is the Kunoichi Marmalade.. BONUS CHAPTER UP!
1. Kunoichi Marmalade

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. I was inspired by Lady Marmalade and Karaoke, Yes, Karaoke by Silverdust-Aestis

**Kunoichi Marmalade**

It was a boring night in Konoha, with all our well-known ninjas sitting in a bar owned by a rather sadistic Morino Ibiki, drinking juice and the such as they laid back and relaxed. The world was at peace now, or so it seemed in the bar, and the minds of the shinobis that were present were at rest… a little too at rest. They were so at rest that things were arguably as _boring _as they could be.

The bar was one for all shinobi to come and relaxed, named the "Clam Clam", after an inside joke Ibiki had on something between a man's pride and joy and a hormonal oyster; needless to say, nobody wanted to know. It was a simple bar, with large tables meant for the larger groups of ninjas, as well as smaller tables meant for groups od three to four. At the moment, the place was packed, but because the comedian Kubo Tite failed to show up… it was now dubbed Boredom Central. Ibiki was scowling from his position behind the bar, where numerous bottles of beer and sake stood on the shelves, untouched… by the hands of the minors… so far!

Amidst the boring atmosphere, stood the Rookie Twelve, all of them aged fourteen, except for Neji's group, which were collectively fifteen years old each… and bored. Even Sai showed some expression as he stared blankly into a cup once filled with orange juice… the expression of boredom. Naruto sighed as he looked over to where the "old men" sat, chatting lazily (except for Gai, who was raving about some random thing); although he could not hear on what they were saying, he could tell that it was just an ordinary boring old conversation.

The Rookie Twelve plus Sai were sitting around a arther large circular area with their drinks in front of them, some of the finished and some of them not, and some of them fiddling with the pink umbrellas inside their glasses, notably, Hyuuga Neji, who was trying to fish out some of his juice jelly at the bottom of the glass (Curse you fate!). And things were starting to get a little much too dull for their tastes… even Sasuke's. He actually enjoyed some excitement once in a while (Gasp). Naruto turned to the group, his eyes closed in slight exasperation.

"So anyone here have any ideas on things that we could do tonight?" Naruto asked, looking around the table at which the Rookie Twelve sat, and all coming up with, seemingly, blanks.

"Blow up Hokage Tower?" Sai brought up… SURPRISINGLY! Everyone blinked at the suggestion… HYPOCRITICALLY! Sai blinked. "What, you guys got no balls to do that?"

"Actually, Naruto did it when he was eight. Took the village nine months to finish reconstruction." Sasuke offered. Everyone blinked at him. "I can talk sometimes too, you know?" Sakura coughed into her fist, "Screw you all."

"Why don't we go hunt for Orochimaru?" Shikamaru gave his words, "I heard that he was last sighted in Earth."

"It's dark; and anyways, he's probably plotting some stupid scheme that will fail and we end up victorious."

Silence reigned for a good second, until Sakura spoke up with some amusement, "That actually is true. To date, the only successful thing that he's done is practically escape from Konoha!"

"And probably sneaked in a kiss or two with our dear Uchiha here." Neji said, and the table laughed… LOUDLY!

"Hmph; you look even more girlish than I do, Hyuuga." Naruto 'ooh'-ed into his open palm.

"At least I don't have a bow around my waist." Sakura laughed into her fists, earning a glare from her raven-haired _former _crush. She shut up, but still giggled very _very_ slightly, "A _purple_ bow around my waist."

"You're wearing the lower half of Hinata's dress around your waist, girly-pants." Sasuke sneered.

Naruto couldn't help it; he laughed, and earned the attention of the whole table, and had tears coming out of his eyes.

"This is just too rich!" Naruto laughed, his hand clutching his stomach. Now, it is a known fact proven by the scientists of the modern universe that laughter can be contagious if projected through the correct medium (Naruto, Hinata, Kiba, etc.), and so, everyone laughed… at the cost of two Bloodline Geniuses.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Somewhere near, the male Jounins of Konoha and Suna were seated… and like everyone else, bored.

Kakashi was bored. Very very bored. He needed something to get him out of his boredom or he'd shove Chidori down Gai's throat for amusement. Well… not really for amusment, but to shut the man up from annoying the Hell out of him. The speech that he had been going on and on and on and on and on about had been going for exactly forty minutes and twenty-six seconds… and COUNTING!

"…AND IF I DON'T MANAGE TO ROLL AROUND THE VILLAGE TWENTY-TWO THOUSAND AND THREE-HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX TIMES I WILL DO THREE-HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SIX THOUSAND FOUR-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-NINE JUMPING JACKS…" he went on and on and on… ANNOYINGLY!

_What were the seals for Chidori again… have to… remember… ARGH!_ Kakashi thought underneath his lazy and laid-back façade. Currently, Gai's rambling had destroyed his ability to remember his best Jutsus! Now, if he had only put that ability to good use.

"You know, if he got on stage, the people here would kill him… literally." Asuma offered, taking a small puff of his cigarette… and ignoring the 'DON'T SMOKE OR ELSE…' sign. Then, Asuma noticed the sign, and smirked. "So what?"

The sign automatically changed into another sign in an instant into a small magical animation of a chibi Asuma being mauled by a bear. He put out the cigarette instantly, looking around for any furry animals of the sort; _especially_ bears.

"So, what do you think we should do?" Kakashi said, ignoring Gai as he went on with his speech; or rambling, something or the other… (AND IF I BLAH BLAH BLAH, I WILL BLAH BLAH BLAH…etc.).

"Jack off?" Baki offered, earning a combined glare from the two Jounin that were still keeping their sanity.

He wisely shut up after a withering full-on Sharingan eye revealed itself.

Kakashi then looked around, ignoring the now nervously sweating Baki, who was drinking his empty glass of sake.

"Hey, where did Kurenai go?" Asuma looked around, and saw that the red-eyed woman was missing from her place.

And so were the other two famed kunoichis; Tsunade and Anko. He shrugged, not thinking a lot of it. He did, however, see Jiraiya looking as though he was going to go bald from the dull atmosphere the bar offered.

And so… they returned to boredom… for now…

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Meanwhile; at the table of the Sand Siblings…

"Gaara, have you seen Temari anywhere?"

"She said that she went to the bathroom…"

"An _hour _ago."

"Yes."

Silence…

"Man, that must be a _long_ crap she's taking."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Meanwhile, backstage, there was a lot of commotion going on, with all the hottest females the bar had to offer changing into new gear for the sake of… a lost bet… and temptation (Foxy Grin).

"I can't believe that we actually have to do this."

"I can't believe that _I _of all people got roped into this."

"Well, you _did _say all or nothing, so predictably-"

"How did I get into this again?"

"Blame your esteemed Hokage."

"We-ell, we _did_ not get the guy birthday presents for fourteen years."

"So he thinks this as a form of payback or something? Or just one of those pranks?"

"Probably the latter, but nonetheless, as honour-bound ninjas we have to fulfil the task we have before us!"

"…"

"That sounds like something _Gai_ would say."

No comment was made from that.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Suddenly, the whole club plunged into the endless sea of black, and every single one of the shinobi present within the bar drew upon their weapons, all except for Morino Ibiki and Uzumaki Naruto.

Ibiki smirked.

So did Naruto.

It was about time.

Several seconds of silence followed, and the ninjas lowered their weapons and went into a stage of relaxation, although their sense were still alert to their surroundings, as all hired mercenaries would be… only better.

The seconds passed, and a voice made of pure seduction rang through the air.

_Where's all my soul sisters?  
Let me here y'all flow, sisters_

Kakashi's visible eye snapped open, as did Gai's: they _knew_ that voice.

A spotlight came on, illuminating the stage and the figure that stood upon it.

Sasuke's eyebrows shot up into his hair.

Kakashi nearly had a heart attack.

Asuma's cigarette hit the floor, still burning.

And Jiraiya very nearly drooled a river.

_Hey Sister, Go Sister,_  
_Flow Sister, Soul Sister,  
Hey Sister, Go Sister,  
Flow Sister, Soul Sister,_

For it was Mitarashi Anko that was upon the stage; the sadistic and playful yet sexy grin upon her pretty features, as always, only this time, they brought a more pronounced affect throughout the shinobi population, her body leaning upon her right shoulder provocatively and her eyes surrounded by silver glitter all around. She was clad in _tight_ fishnet clothing, torn here and there, and the only thing that was preventing a perfect view was the leather two-piece gold bikini that enchanced more than it concealed.

She slipped a small wink towards the audience, causing some rather severe nosebleeds upon the populace, and seductively brought the mic to her lips…

_He met Marmalade down at old Moulin Rouge,  
Strutting her stuff down the street…_

Kakashi's shock didn't last long, and he promptly ogled at the younger Jounin, along with several problems of blood rushing towards his "area" (I am evil: hear me ROAR!). His shock quickly converted to some fantasies, which resulted in some rather bad headaches he was predictably going to have from this… but not until the show was over…

Chouji stared open-mouthed at the free show: this was a _whole lot better _than a lousy barbecue!

Anko jumped off the stage with cat-like grace and landed upon the floor, sashaying her way between tables with that sensuous allure that she brought with her every place, everywhere. She turned towards Naruto and winked in his direction, as the blonde teenager smirked visibly.

Sasuke burned with jealousy, as did half of the other Rookie Twelve and Sai.

"How the heck did she wink at _you _over _me_, dobe?" Sasuke inquired, barely keeping his rage in check.

"Animal magnetism." Was the blonde's answer, and Sakura couldn't suppress a small giggle of her own.

_She said, "Hello, Hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?"  
Oh uh huh_

Jiraiya instantly took out a pen and notepad, his red blush spread all over his face as he scribble furiously.

Three other voices joined in on Anko's voice as she went on to sing her way into all the men's hopes and dreams…

_Giuchie, Giuchie Ya Ya Da Da (Hey, Hey Hey)  
Giuchie, Giuchie Ya Ya Here (Here Here Here)  
Mocha Choca Latta Ya Ya (Oh Yeah)_

A single sultry voice broke through the air, and Kankurou _almost_ choked on his guava juice.

_Creole Lady Marmalade (Ooh Oh)_

The puppet user Kankurou recognized that voice, and sure as Hell he didn't know if he should be scarred for life or amused. The voice then continued as Anko came towards Ibiki's bar, as the scarred Torture and Interrogation Specialist grinned maniacally as he slid a clear liquid with an olive in it towards Anko, who caught it… seductively.

She took a small sip from her drink, smirking slightly and sensuously.

Anko went on, swaying her body in a rather snake-like motion as she took up the next few lyrics, as well as causing several floods of inspiration into Jiraiya's already dirty mind.

_What? What? What? What? (ooh oh)_

The voice that Kankurou recognized went on to sing the next few lines, and the puppet user decided to ignore it… not that he could; after all… it was scared into the memory of his hearing forever!

_Voulez vous couchez avec moi? Ce soir?  
Voulez vous couchez avec moi? (Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah)_

Jiraiya continued to write down his perverted notes, scribbling four times faster than ever before, and upon hearing the last two lines, got a thin line of red blood dripping from his nose, and continued to write upon his pad.

"Was that _French_?" Sasuke questioned, turning to Naruto, as if the blonde kitsune knew; he _did_, "What did she say?"

"Something alien to your faggy ears." Neji insulted Sasuke, and Sakura could not help but explain.

"It means-" Tenten shoved her hands over Sakura's mouth, blushing a rather fine shade of red.

"Let's not taint their ears now, shall we, Sakura?" Tenten laughed nervously, earning a raised eyebrow from Sasuke.

A puff of stinging smoke and a flash of white light came, and the audience made catcalls and whistles. Temari of the Desert was upon the stage, in a rather provocative outfit. Her four ponytails were missing, instead replaced with her hair cascading down her back (Neji had the _gall_ to _whistle_). She was dressed in a ringmaster's suit, with cuffs and all, cut down in the middle revealing her bare belly. Reactions varied; several males found out the could die happy (_especially_ Uchiha Sasuke and Inuzuka Kiba)… and Naruto just grinned.

And was it just the light or was Temari actually _blushing_ as she looked at Naruto?

_He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up,  
Boy drank all that Magnolia Wine…_

Kankurou moaned into his hands, cursing himself for leaving their camera at the hotel they were staying in. Gaara's eyes widened in _shock_. Temari had _never _acted like this, except that time they were at Kiba's party… but she was stone drunk at the time, so that did _not _count. Bad trauma, that.

Jiraiya thanked the Gods above in Heaven for giving him such an opportunity to do what he does best… research. He promised himself that he would sacrifice a lamb as tribute for such a prize as he scribbled away at the notepad in his hands, grinning pervertedly as he looked up to Temari from his table.

Things were getting _very_ dirrrrty.

_On her black satin sheets is where he started to freak, yeah,_

Anko neared Temari, licking her lips in a hypnotizing fashion as she brought the younger woman close to her chest as catacalls ensued throughout the bar; mainly from the male population present in the area. Anko held up her mic between them, and their lips coming so close that _even more _catcalls ensued from the crowd; only this time, _the females_ had joined in.

_Giuchie Giuchie Ya Ya Da Da (Da Da)  
Giuchie Giuchie Ya Ya Here (Here)  
Mocha Choca Latta Ya Ya (Ooh Yeah)_

They grinned rather Naruto-like, turning their gaze to the audience, earning the show of Uchiha Sasuke jumping up from his seat and whistling as if there was no tomorrow. Temari then, surprisingly, yanked the mic away from Anko, making the older woman fall upon her (As a side note, Jiraiya scribbled down eight times faster than any normal human being can upon this), and being close to Temari, they came so close to the mic that people began to curse its existence.

_Creole Lady Marmalade…_

Kakashi turned to his once student, amused at what the raven-haired Uchiha survivor was doing. He wished he had a camera; this was just too priceless to let slip by your fingers… LITERALLY!

"Hm, I guess he isn't an asexual sponge after all." Asuma said, enjoying the show very much as he looked at Sasuke.

"Nah, he's just very picky about his women." Kakashi offered, his eyes closed in their arch-like expression.

They turned their attention to the women before them, intent on watching what would happen next.

_Voulez vous couchez avec moi? Ce Soir? (Ah, Oh)  
Voulez vous couchez avec moi?_

There was another flash of light upon the stage and lo and behold! There was Team Kiba's former sensei, Yuuhi Kurenai, clad in rather provocative black leather and cloth, tightening around her figure like a constricting snake. Her belly was bear, and there was a black feather perched upon her head to add a certain allure of dark attraction. Coming down here arms were sashes of black cloth, and if one could look closely, they would see that one strong tug of those sashes would undress her of the black ensemble.

Kiba and Shino didn't realize how hot their former Sensei had been…

And Hinata was never more jealous of Kurenai's seemingly flawless figure.

In her hands she had a black whip (In which, Kakashi began to giggle from his thoughts).

And Jiraiya's perverted mind began to work its wonders… again.

"Shino, remind me to never forget today." Kiba spoke up, drooling in his former sensei's general direction as she smirked with a feline grace, leaning on one leg coquettishly as she brought the mic to her lips.

"What day is it today?"

She brought out a thick lisp, aggressive and provocative as ever, showing that she was in deadly and in charge, and began to rap her next lines earning her won fanbase.

_Yee-ah, Yee-ah, Augh!  
We come through with the money and the garter belt,  
Let 'em know we got that cake,  
Straight out that gate,_

She let loose some coils of her whip, letting the leather material slip down upon the floor, winking at the audience, whose numbers began to dwindle after several of the audience members lost consciousness… due to severe blood loss.

_We independent women some mistake us for whores,  
I'm saying why spend mine; when I can spend yours?  
Disagree? Well, that's you and I'm sorry,  
I'm gonna keep playing out these cats out like Atari (like Atari),_

She grinned at Anko, who let go of the dazed yet excited Temari, and took centre stage along with Kurenai, getting the centre of attention. Temari followed later with an acrobatic, and in some minds, _pleasurable (cough_ Jiraiya _cough_) front-flip.

Kurenai continued with her rap, a loose lock of hair covering her left eye, making her look more attractive than ever.

_Wearing high-heeled shoes, getting love from the dudes,  
Four bad-ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge,_

"Four? I counted three so far." Kankurou frowned as he scanned the stage.

_Hey sisters, Soul Sisters,  
Better get that dough, sisters,_

Kurenai grinned as she continued: she was _loving _the attention. From his position, Ibiki threw a glass full of a red liquid, which had a visible crystal in it towards the woman, who caught it in a twirl and faced the audience, smirking slightly… and seductively. Kurenai took a slow sip, continuing with her rap after…

_We drink wine with diamonds in the glass,  
By the case, the meaning of expensive taste,_

Temari brought her mic close to her lips, going on where Kurenai left off.

_We wanna Giuchie Giuchie Ya Ya (Come on)  
Mocha Chocalatta (What?)_

Kurenai brought the mic close to her lips, slowly bringing on a feline's smile.

_Creole Lady Marmalade…_

Anko brought the mic close to her lips, grinning like a cat that had a large fish for dinner.

_One more time, C'mon now…_

The women slowly raised their hands up and down again in a slow fashion, as if they were worshipping some invisible God, and in the meantime, gained large fanbases.

_Marmalade… (Ooh)  
Lady Marmalade… (Ooh Yeah)  
Marmalade… (OOOH…)_

There was another flash of light, and an arch appeared out of _friggin' nowhere_ upon the stage, made of red satin cloth and roses bound around them, where another figure stood.

Jaws dropped. Sakura very nearly hyperventilated, Hinata fainted dead away, and Tenten's eyes very nearly popped out of her head.

"HOKAGE-SAMA!" Kakashi very nearly shouted above the music, only to be kicked by Asuma under the table.

Tsunade stood under the arch, dressed like some belly dancer with ornate gold jewellery around her neck and a cloth down her lower part, slitting at her hips just to allow the viewer a bit more imagination. She didn't need an introduction, and went on, grinning ever so slightly at her subordinates and the audience, but not before giving Kurenai a signal…

For what, only God know, but the red-eyed woman began to sway her whip slightly, as Tsunade continued…

_Hey; Hey; HEEEEYYY!_

Kurenai then snapped her whip, grabbing a rather unlucky (or lucky, depending on your preference) person by the waist and bringing him or her to the stage… Naruto.

Kurenai wrapped her whip around his neck quickly, bringing the fox boy close to her as she stared into his blue orbs…

_Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth…_

Naruto grinned evilly, pulling Kurenai's black sashes that hanged by her arms, allowing the appendages that covered her body to let loose slightly, showing an indecent amount of skin to the audience.

As a side note, the males cursed Naruto for being such a lucky bastard as Kurenai unzipped his shirt, smirking sexily at the blonde and revealing the black undershirt he wore underneath the black and orange jacket.

_Colour of café au lait, (All right)_

Kurenai pushed him away rather forcefully… into Tsunade's welcome arms… and chest…

_CURSE YOU, NARUTO-TEME!_ The males cursed, watching the scene before them unfold; how come the "Idiot in Orange" was the only one who got any action nowadays?

Tsunade slipped her hands underneath his undershirt and up to his chest, feeling the pectoral muscles that had built up there, caressing them slowly. She then truned him so that his back faced her, her hands still underneath shirt, whispering the next lyric into his ear as the other women continued to sing it loudly…

_Made the savage beast inside, roar until he cried…_

Temari then 'relieved' the Hokage of the blonde teenager by ripping him away and pressing him against her nape.

_More…  
More…  
More…_

_I am so going to kill Naruto for getting this lucky…_ Sasuke cursed, glaring at the stage, but enjoying the song nonetheless.

Anko grabbed the young man away from Temari, pressing her back against him as they looked at the stunned, yet entertained audience. Anko moved her hands around his chest teasingly, sending shivers down Narutos' spine, followed by a spin, returning into Kurenai's and Tsunade's clutches.

_Now he's at home doing nine to five, (nine to five)  
Living the grey flannel life (Oh Pity)  
But when he turns off to sleep,  
Memories creep.._

Kurenai and Tsunade had allowed themselves to be wrapped up in Naruto's arms, grinning daringly, as if coaxing the men to _try_ and pry them from Naruto's arms.

_More…  
More…  
More…  
More…_

They let themselves be relieved of the appendages around them, allowing Temari and Anko to take their places dancing to each of Naruto's sides as he went into a frenzy of freakishly catchy dance move between the girls.

_Giucie Giuchie Ya Ya Da Da (Yeah-hey)  
Giuchie Giuchie Ya Ya Here (Here)  
Mocha Chocalatta Ya Ya (Ooh Yeah)  
Creole Lady Marmalade…_

Naruto grinned as Tsunade put her hand on his chest, looking over her back towards the audience (whose majority of the male population was moaning and groaning in either frustration… or _obvious reasons_). Kakashi's eyes, at the moment, were ubelieving as he stared at the sight before him.

"If you told me Naruto was going to be in this position, I would have thought you to be crazy." Asuma offered.

"Same here." Kakashi replied.

"GO MY STUDENT, MAKE YOUR SENSEI PROUD! YOU OWN THOSE BI-ATCHES!' Jiraiya cried.

"Now, if you said that Jiraiya was going to say that to Naruto…"

"I'd _still _call you crazy."

"…"

The singing went onto the final verses, and Naruto was dancing on stage along with the women. If he was somehow elated, it was amazing that he still had such control over his person.

_Voulez vous couchez avec moi? Ce Soir? (Ce Soir)  
Voulez vous couchez avec moi? Ce Soir? (All my sisters, Yeah)  
Voulez vous couchez avec moi?   
Voulez vous couchez avec moi? (Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah)_

Anko took a step forward, doing a little twirl and sticking her tongue our teasingly at the audience.

_Anko (Ooh Yeah Ooh)_

Temari came forward, swaying her hips left and right…

_Temari (Lady Marmalade)_

Kurenai did a spin, heaving her perfect body up and down as she grinned beautifully at the audience.

_Kurenai (Hey Hey Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh)_

Tsunade came forward, one hand on her hip and the other lazily down, making her even more of an icon than before.

_Tsunade (Oh Oh Oooooh)_

_Rot weiler baby (Baby)  
Moulin Rouge (Ooh Oooh)  
Da-doot Da-doot_

_Miss Demeanour here…_

_Creole Lady Marmalade Oooh Yesss… ah…_

There was a flash of light, and all that was upon the stage disappeared, leaving the crowd to erupt into cheers and whistles for encores. That was truly a great performance.

/-/-/-/ BACKSTAGE /-/-/-/

"_There_," Tsunade breathed a sigh as she glared at Naruto, who was smirking as he leaned against the wall opposite the Hokage. "Happy now? I did my end of the bet. I hope that you're happy now."

"You mean, _we_ did your end of the bet." Temari glared at the Hokage's back just for good measure.

"Of course I'm happy, Tsunade-baachaaan…" Naruto grinned foxily at her as she turned red from embarrassment, "And I think that for good measure, that _you're_ happy too."

Kurenai bumped into Naruto from behind, and he turned around to see the woman clad in a towel, turning red and saying "Sorry" before she went into the female dressing room.

"I think that I would just LOVE to do that again." Anko came barging in, grinning from ear to ear and slinging an arm around Naruto, "And I didn't know that you were so much filled out… Naruto-kun…"

Naruto laughed nervously as she put in a card into his pocket and left for her dressing room.

"Well, it's been a good night, anyways, with all this happening." Tsunade confided, letting herself grin.

"Uh-huh. Well, I gotta go, see you tomorrow morning, Baba!" Naruto grinned at her, and she found she could not hit him, so instead, she just shook her head. Naruto then began to walk away, his hands in his pockets whistling the tune of "Lady Marmalade" rather loudly.

Tsunade thought of something for a moment, then looked up to Naruto's retreating back, grinning.

"Naruto!" she called out, and Naruto turned around, "If you want to join us for coffee tomorrow morning meet us at Karakura Coffee House at 10 am."

Naruto gave her a thumbs up, grinning foxily, and went on his way.

Now, if he could only get that hot Kurenai-sensei to go out with him…

**THE END**

A/N: Do I hear a request for a song for Naruto and Kakashi to sing? Gimme suggestions for the two guys' song. You won't be disappointed.**  
**


	2. Livin La Vida Konoha

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kapish? Good.

**Livin' La Vida Konoha**

It was a beautiful night in Konoha, a beautiful _Saturday _night to be exact, and that meant that the men and women of Konoha were either out partying, having fun or just chilling in general around the various spots around the great village of Konoha. The stars were out in the sky, the wind was blowing a cool breeze throughout the village and the streets were were, in a word, either bare or packed full of people that generally enjoyed the presence of a good street fair or bazaar. However, this is not the focus point of the story bso we shall move on to much more incredibly pressing matters. It was a beautiful night… if you were from Konoha, but you're not, so you CANNOT comprehend the beauty.

The Rookie Twelve were bored out of their minds. There was nothing to do at all, despite being in each other's company, there had been no such fun being conceived from the presence of the people that were around them, namely, themselves. It was, to them, another slow night in the life of a ninja of Konoha, of the Golden Generation, where it was twenty percent exciting, fifty percent boring, twenty percent mild and ten percent at risk of being terminated from terminal Jutsu damage from outside ninja forces, but that is out of the book, thank you very much! Back to the story.

The Rookie Twelve and Sai were all seated around a table, their usual table at the bar of Morino Ibiki, the Clam Clam, all bored out of possible imagination from the atmosphere that the club oozed out of its walls. It was blatantly contagious and a definite mood-killer! None of the Rookie Twelve were prepared for this level of boredom in Konoha! There should have been a law that literally stated that boredom was not to allowed in the village! They needed excitement! They needed thrills! Now, the only thing that they had present was some slow-rumbling music in the backgfround as other ninjas of varying ages were seated all around the bar, either swirling their drink sin hand or just literally talking in slurred and bored, or, in one persons case, drunk sentences. This was definitely the central of boredom. The table of the Rookie Twelve plus Sai, looked to be, with no comparison, in no better condition.

"I'm bored." Inuzuka Kiba stated, his head upon the table that he was seated at, in his position between Lee and Ino.

"Yeah, speak up for all of us, would you, Kiba?" Uchiha Sasuke retorted, his eyebrows forming an annoyed frown.

"Fine." Kiba said… SARCASTICALLY! He got up from his seat, clearing his throat, and said in a girly lisp, "I'm Uchiha Sasuke; I ran away from the Village of Konoha because I wanted power and the only person who could give me power is a freaking gay pedophile with a freakishly long tongue and has an obsession with eyes that can kill you!"

Uchiha Sasuke did _not_ glower; he didn't; really. Okay, so maybe he did. Hyuuga Neji, ever the one to lend his opinion, added salt to the Uchiha's wound by laughing ever so slightly… PLEASINGLY! Sasuke glowered some more.

"You want to take this outside, Dog?" Sasuke uttered through gritted teeth, his Sharingan spinning wildly.

"Oh my God, Uchiha Sasuke wants to kiss my ass! Somebody save me!" Kiba went on, in his _extremely_ girly voice.

"I'm warning you, Inuzuka! Don't push your luck!" He glared straight at Kiba, but without the Sharingan's Genjutsu.

Uchiha Sasuke stepped onto the table at the same time as the brunette, who was grinning, his fangs bare and his hair disshelved like the cocky boy that he was. Sasuke drew his Kusanagi, ready to strike, and Kiba took out several kunai, when…

Morino Ibiki showed up… looking like the Torture Maniac that everyone thought him out to be.

"Now…" he looked at Kiba, who had visibly paled, and was gulping rather loudly, "I _know _you weren't even _thinking_ in causing a ruckus in this bar that I own… _did you_?" Sasuke was sweating bullets right now.

"N-NO, SIR! ABSOLUTELY NO, SIR!" the two ninjas said in unison, nervously looking away from the bar's owner.

Ibiki looked to Uchiha Sasuke, who was so much more paler than he originally was that for an instant that Ibiki thought he was seeing a Mini Orochimaru, and back to the boy known as Kiba, who was so bloody close to peeing in his pants.

"Good." Ibiki said cheerfully as he walked away. And then stopped. And turned around… showing the face of the Devil. "_Because if you _do _cause a ruckus in here, brats…I will personally give you a bisectomy…_ BWAHAHAHA!"

A puff of smoke became visible, and Morino Ibiki's laugh was heard echoing throughout the bar, though only the Rookie Twelve had taken the time and effort to hear it. But _boy _was it scary.

He disappeared in that puff of smoke, and Kiba and Sasuke sat down onto their seats, shaking like never before.

"M-m-m-m-man, t-t-th-that w-was _scary_…" Sasuke barely managed to say, and Kiba shook his head and down frantically in mutual agreement, that was so _frickin'_ scary that it wasn't funny.

"Y-Y-Yeah… man, and I t-t-t-thought that L-L-Lee in t-t-tights was s-scary… brr…" Kiba visibly shivered.

'And what is wrong with tights? They're comfortable!' Lee said, jumping onto the table.

"…"

"Lee, you are officially, the Greatest Ever Freak of Nature that I have ever known." Neji said, taking a drink.

"WHY THANK YOU, MY RIVAL!" Lee said… LOUDLY! Haruno Sakura rubbed her temples.

It was going to be, officially, a _long night_.

"Hey, has anyone seen Naruto anywhere?" Shikamaru questioned, looking around… STUPIDLY!

HAH! As if they'd know where the blonde dynamite was! He was practically invisible to them! BWAHAHAHA!

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Yuuhi Kurenai was frustrated beyond belief as she was seated beside her fellow female kunoichi (Anko, Temari, Shizune and Suzume) drinking out of the glass of vodka that she had just ordered. She, once more, cast alook over her shoulder, spying several guys that were looking at her like a piece of meat… for sale at the lowest price possible. She cast a withering glare, and went back to her drink, a scowl visible on her face. Inwardly, she cursed. She was NOT friggin' available, Goddammit!

She sighed; it was all thanks to her exploits of two weeks ago, where she and her fellow kunoichis, as in, Anko, Temari and Tsunade, went on to do a little bit of playin' on stage as the "Kunoichi Marmalade", as everyone had dubbed it. It was famous throughout the whole of God Damned Fire Country… because some person (Naruto) had taped the performance and posted it to every single production company he knew (Jiraiya) and said person (Naruto) had also, apparently, managed to create a ruckus by _broadcasting _it over the Konoha Television Network.

All because Tsunade had bet Katsui was faster than Gamabunta. She was a friggin' _slug_ Goddammit!

Although, she had to admit, that Uzumaki Naruto was such a _fine_ young man…

"Tsunade-sama…" a waiter came with a drink, "A drink from that young man over there."

Tsunade scowled. She glanced to see a Chuunin, around early-twenties in age, wink at her. She scowled.

"I'll take it…" Anko stared at her, "What? No use wasting good alcohol…"

"Seriously, Tsunade-sama, you should not drink so much; it's not a very healthy thing to do so often." Shizune said.

"Hah! I'll die soon anyways, and before I die I am going to drink myself to death."

"No comment." Anko waved a hand, indicating that the Godaime had said something rather _stupid_ and was currently being even more of an annoyance than she usually was… to her, anyways. Tsunade scowled, "It's boring…"

Tsunade looked at Anko, a mischievous grin coming upon her pretty face, and Anko paled.

"NO!" She shouted, catching the attention of the men and women that were all around them and causing the bar to go into an uncomfortable silence, "What? Ya never heard a woman shout before? Back to your drinks!" And so they did. She turned back to Tsunade, "Are you _out of your mind_? Once is enough, but two times is waaaayyy out of hand."

"What? Come on, you said that it was good fun last time. And you even went out with Naruto after that." She winked.

"No, no, no. I absolutely refuse to do another act that will make those guys jump all over me!"

"You wouldn't refuse if it would make Naruto jump all over you." Tsunade pointed out, grinning.

"…"

"…"

"True."

"Whatever."

And so, the women returned to their drinks.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Sarutobi Asuma was lonely. Her he was, sitting at the usual table where the "Old Men" sat, chewing on a toothpick, as the people all around him chatted at their tables, being served by the waiters that were present. He sighed; what he wouldn't give to have a good waitress pass him by in a mini-skirt. He giggled ever so slightly, not the least bit ashamed at his dirty thoughts. And Baki was not back from the toilet yet… doing God knows what… ew.

Damn Ibiki! No smoking in the bar? What the Hell kind of rule was that? People were supposed to smoke in bars! It was what true cancer-stick men did! He had to smoke! He didn't want this cigarette! He wanted-

"ASUMA! MY FRIEND AND MY ETERNAL RIVAL'S FRIEND!" Oh God, _no_; why did _Gai _have to arrive?

"Hey there, Gai…" Asuma said lazily, observing the table with interest… not that anything there was _remotely interesting_…

"AH, WHAT A HIP RESPONSE! EXPECTED OF A NINJA OF KONOHA! UOOO!" Gai said, or more specifically, shouted into his fist, tears streaming down his face and people beginning to stare at him like he was… Gai.

Suddenly, a sign on a nearby pillar appeared, showing a stick-man on firw, with a cross above it. Below, it said "No Flames of Youth or else…"

Gai, of course, being the… Gai that he is, only stared with miniscule interest at the offending object, his eyes narrowed in scrutiny and his lips slightly pouted. He scoffed and looked away from the sign for a while, practically ignoring it, and straight away crossed his arms over his chest in defiance.

"Or else what, oh unyouthful thing on pillar that does not allow the Flames of Youth within this bar? Hmm?"

The sign showed a magical animation of a chibi Maito Gai being eaten by a tiger. Maito Gai paled and sat down in the chair opposite of Asuma, looking out for furry animals, cute or otherwise. _Especially_ orange and striped tigers…

"Hey, Gai, have you seen Kakashi around? He's suppose to meet me around here at nine…"

"NO, I AM SORRY! I HAVE NOT SEEN MY ETERNAL RIVAL! GORGIVE ME ASUMA-SAAAANNNN!'

And so, Sarutobi Asuma forgave the green-clad psycho, otherwise known as Maito Gai, and returned to his toothpick.

Gai also settled down, albeit not very quietly, and followed the buzz of the bored crowd all around them.

And so… they returned to boredom… for the moment… MWAHAHAHA!

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Meanwhile, at the table of the Sand Siblings…

"It's getting boring…" Temari uttered, watching the empty stage.

"I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no." Gaara glared at her, and Temari grinned.

"You know that people all over Fire Country are looking to get your autograph?" Kankuro interjected.

"So? It's the price of fame."

"Kankuro."

"Yeah?"

"People are looking at Temari again."

Kankuro nodded and took out a sign that was labaled "This is what happens to you when you try to hit on my sister". Next to the sign was a puppet, a simple one, humanoid. Gaara took out his sand, formed a sword… and decapitated it.

Needless to say, people looked away rather quickly. Ah, so mighty is the power of overprotective brothers.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Meanwhile, backstage, two rather notable people were silently chuckling to themselves as they dressed up for the big event, rather impatient in their own right to keep waiting for the curtains to be lifted. An older voice, a bored one, chuckled as the owner took a seat, a red book in his hands and massaging his neck ever so slightly.

"Maa, I have to say that this is the best idea that you've had since… the last time you had a great idea!"

"Of course, all my ideas are great! But this one will take the cake and own them all!" a younger voice came.

"They'll never know what hit them. In and out like the ANBU!" the older voice chuckled as he turned a page.

"Saa, Sensei, wanna have a little bet?" the younger voice inquired; a grin very apparent in the tone.

"Sure, what would you like to bet?" a cheerful reply came, and the sound of a book closing was heard.

"One thousand ryou says that I'll have more girls grinding against me than you."

"You underestimate me greatly, my young padawan. If you only knew the power… of the Hatake."

He grinned. And so,the bet was on. Oh if only he knew…

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Haruno Sakura stirred the ice cube in her drink, her expression bored and everyone else was even more bored, if that were possible. She needed some excitement! Oh, if only she had not let go of her childish crush for the Uchiha, she could very well be entertained by now. She sighed, plopping her drink back onto the table.

All of a sudden, the lights went out, leaving the bar in pitch black darkness. The ninjas took out their weapons, ready for action. But after a moment of no threats or any other activity, they put them away. This was weird.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light upon the stage, and to put it specifically, a _golden _flash of light, illuminating a stage of black and white tiles, and a lone microphone stood, being the sole point of attention for the viewers.

_What the Hell?_ Thought one rather confused Yuuhi Kurenai, watching the single object on the stage.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a guitar strumming, going on to the beat of a Latin flair, creating waves of sensuous and ballistic salsa sounds, drawing the attention and the ears of the listeners. It wasn't fast; on the contrary, it was rather slow, but still had that rhythm that one could dance. To. It seemed to be rather slow and relaxing, almost a sad melody in its own right, this strumming of a guitar, and in all its glory, it stood alone, inivisible and felt alone by the ears.

Suddenly, a masculine voice rang through the air, breaking the silent melody with its power and authority.

The women thought it was sexy beyond words.

_Uno Dos Quattro, Hit it!_

The rhythm of the guitar began to pick up very fast, creating a new beat that went into the minds of the people in the club. The guitar was joined by several other instruments, picking up the slack and going at speeds and beats faster than almost anything the men and women of Konoha had ever heard. It went on, and a poof was heard, and wouldn't you know it, there was a cloud of smoke in the middle of the stage, and it dissipated, leaving…

Uzumaki Naruto?

The jaws of the women dropped; the eyes of the men could have popped out and Morino Ibiki just smirked. It was just about time that the blonde bastard show up! The women drooled (along with a few men), watching this God of the Sun before them, tanned and mighty in his sexiness. If Naruto didn't have a Fan Club, he definitely had one now!

He was clad in tight black leather clothes, hugging every single inch of that enticing tanned body of his, the shirt looking as though it was much too small for him, revealing some of his belly and his chest for all to see. It only drove the women wilder. His pants hugged his thighs and his well-toned legs and dangling around his neck was Tsunade's necklace. His hair was wild, like a curtain of long bangs all over the place.

Tsunade never thought that the chest under it would have looked so friggin' enticing to her!

Naruto opened his mouth, baring his fangs like the animal that he was, grabbing the pole of the microphone and leaning it close to his oral cavity, looking at the audience with that cat-like expression. He began…

_She's into superstitions black cats and voodoo dolls,  
I feel a premonition that girl's gonna make me fall,_

Naruto spun the mic and its pole in one direction, like a man doing the tango, and brought it back close to himself. Every single woman (single or otherwise) felt extremely jealous for that pole for being in that position. He smirked sexily at the audience, winking at some random females, who passed out, causing their partners to curse the male on stage. How dare he make them swoon like high school girls!

In a whirl of smoke, Hatake Kakashi appeared, clad in the same manner as Uzumaki Naruto, except instead of white, he was in a rather light grey; his face left bare without the mask, and his scarred and blood-red eye only enchancing the appeal factor to present women. They went wild, screaming names and moaning at the view: _no touching_.

Naruto spun the microphone in Kakashi's direction, and he caught it by the neck, dipping it as he breathed upon the instrument, causing more girls to glare at the extremely lucky (insert profanity) of a microphone. He sang his verse…

_  
She's into new sensations new kicks in the candle light,  
She's got a new addiction for every day and night,  
_

Kakashi and Naruto brought the mic close to themselves, sharing the one instrument between them, breathing into the metallic covers of the microphone and singing the words of the next verse. The women, viewing what was bound to be the closest thing to what they dreamed of. However, the Yaoi Fangirls watched on, with blind hope that the two males on stage would make out and fulfil their fantasies. Fat chance; these two would never do that.

Haruno Sakura looked on with interest, deciding that this was one hell of a show for her!

Two extremely sexy men singing on stage with what could be the most provocative clothes the human race had ever invented were right in front of her! And to top it all off, these were two extremely sexy men that she _knew_.

"Dammit, why didn't I get any good-looking people on my team!" Ino cursed; life was good.

_  
She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain,_

At that exact moment, Uzumaki Naruto tossed himself upon the stage on one of his knees, his arms wide open and his chest showing itself to the known female population that was present. Some of them, from an overload of hormones, fainted in a bloody mess. It would most likely take them a month to recover from the view of Heaven.

Tsunade grinned; this was a _long shot _better than what she got for Christmas! Now, for her birthday…

Hatake Kakashi grabbed the microphone's neck and breathed upon the cool metal once more as the instruments played faster, creating the ambience of a dance floor. And within a second, men and women came upon the dance floor, dancing to the beat of the song; except for the passed out females of course, they'd take time to recover…

_  
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain  
like a bullet to your brain. Come On!  
_

Kakashi spun the microphone in Naruto's direction and the both of them neared the lucky (insert profanity) of an instrument, singing their words into the tool as the men and women on the dance floor broke it down. Kakashi looked on at the kunoichis amusingly, watching Hyuuga Hinata was trying to do a fast rendition of the tango with Sai, and Ino dancing with Sakura on the dancefloor as they try to do the song to the beat of the rap dancing.

Needless to say, the two kunoichis attracted a circle of attention from their exploits as Naruto continued the song alongside Kakashi.

_  
Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca,  
She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca,_

Naruto and Kakashi jumped onto the dance floor, where the crow created a dance circle for the two males, who grinned in the quality that only they could, dropping to the floor with their next verse, catching a whole lot more attention as people began to clear out, leaving a portion of the dance floor bare for the two men to do their thing.

Naruto spotted his pray in the form of Yuuhi Kurenai and Tsunade the Godaime, and grinning, approached them, not exactly inviting them to join, but then again, not declining either.

They looked at him with instantaneous interest, grinning as he dipped ever so slightly before them.

Tsunade's eyes danced with amusement and interest as she watched the rather (sexy) attractive young man.

_Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha,  
She will wear you out livin la vida loca Come On!  
Livin la vida loca, Come on!  
She's livin la vida loca,  
_

Kurenai had not even moved, when Uzumaki Naruto grabbed the woman and spun him and her into the middle of the dance floor, catching the microphone from Kakashi, who had been given one by the toss of Morino Ibiki, who was thoroughly enjoying the show. Now, the profits of his bar would sky-rocket into the moon! BWAHAHAHA!

He held her close to him, as the red-eyed Jounin fought down a rather modest blush and he roamed his hands all over her back, creating the sound of hoots, hollers and whistles from the people that were watching the whole thing.

_Oh my God, Kurenai-sensei is going to… eee!_ Mentally squealed a certain Hyuuga heiress that went by Hinata.

_Oooh! Why didn't I chase after him when I was younger?_ Ino mentally fumed, but still blushing as she watched.

Naruto began the next lines with Kakashi slowly, smirking that devilish smirk that only he could pull off. Kurenai blushed even more as Naruto's intense gaze bore into hers.

Yup, she could die happy now… THIRTY TIMES OVER!

_  
Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel,  
She took my heart and she took my money,  
she must've slipped me a sleeping pill,_

Kakashi saw _his _pray, a rather attractive Suzume, who was out of her kunoichi attire and dressed in that adorable little number of hers. And what was better; she had gotten rid of those sunglasses! Kakashi grinned in that quality of his and grabbed the woman, who blushed a vivid shade of red and pink. Kakashi grinded into her from behind, driving the woman's mind into overdrive, and earning more hoots and hollers from the crowd.

"Wow, I never knew Kakashi-snesei like Suzume-sensei!" Sakura squealed, watching Kakashi and the blushing lady.

"Just look at them get down on it! Oooh, I wish I was in her position!" Shizune moaned, observing the Jounin.

_  
She never drinks the water and makes you order French Champagne,  
Once you've had a taste of her you'll never be the same,  
Yeah, she'll make you go insane!_

Yuuhi Kurenai broke it down with Naruto on the dance floor, performing some variations of the Latin dance moves and her ninja style of fighting to mix her style with her grace. Naruto's eyes lit up intensely and Kakashi smirked to Naruto, as though he had issued him a challenge.

Challenge accepted.

_Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca,   
She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca,  
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha,  
She will wear you out livin la vida loca,_

_Come On! _

Naruto took this moment to do his stuff, necking the older woman into submission. Kurenai _loved _it. Her neck was so sensitive, and to add that it was Uzumaki Naruto on her nape it was all the harder to ignore. She was turned on so much it wasn't funny. Her breath was haggard and her movements losing their authority.

She had melted like butter against his hot knife.

Wow, that was hot.

_  
Livin la vida loca,_

_Come on!  
She's livin la vida loca.  
_

Tsunade and Anko had chosen to make themselves known, and wouldn't you know it, Temari had made her way to Kakashi. Not that he minded, he always did admire fire in women. Tsunade grinded against Naruto's back, teasing his neck as he and Kurenai pressed against one another on the dance floor, doing exciting and hot dance moves in their wake.

Anko cupped his chin with her thumb and forefinger, bringing his attention towards her.'

If Naruto was truly elated, he truly had amazing self control at this stage, after all, who could resist three of the hottest women in Konoha just like that?

Well, if you had enough training and exposure, one could…

But it would take a thousand years of training to perfect it.

_  
She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain.  
_

Kakashi felt his shirt being ripped open by Suzume, and she began to break out dance moves that he had only read about in Icha Icha Paradise. Not that he minded. Suzume spun and slid like a snake, fluid in her motions and graceful.

And with Temari behind him, it wasn't like he could complain.

Tonight officially _rocked_.

He sang the next verse with Naruto, the crowd driving so wild they should be in a zoo.

_She'll make you live her crazy life  
but she'll take away your pain_

_Like a bullet to your brain. Come On!  
_

The women broke away from the men, gyrating, tossing their hips and hair, shaking their chests for attention… _everything_. Uchiha Sasuke and Nara Shikamaru could only gape as they watched though the crowd at the women that Naruto and Kakashi had under their belts…

"How the heck did that dobe manage to score over _me_?" Sasuke pondered, banging his face onto the table in which he sat at. Shikamaru patted his left shoulder comfortingly.

"Hey, don't worry man. There's always Sakura and Ino…"

Sasuke only sobbed louder, uttering, "Baka… dobe… screw Itachi… must get female populace… attention…"

_  
Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca  
She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca  
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha  
She will wear you out livin la vida loca,_

_Come On!  
Livin la vida loca,_

_Come on!  
She's livin la vida loca,_

They danced upon the dance floor in that Latino style, tossing and turning and driving the crowd wild; Kakashi grinned as Suzume roamed her hands all over his chest as Temari leaned onto his right shoulder as they moved to the beat.

_Gara Gara Vida Loca,_

_Gara Gara Vida Loca,_

_GARA GARA VIDA LOCA!_

There was a flash of smoke, and all was gone, leaving a bare stage and a bare dance floor. The bar went wild and the men and women cheered on as the Rookie Twelve danced here and there and everywhere, now that the momentum was going.

Through it all, though, Haruno Sakura pondered…

_I wonder if I can get a private performance…_

/-/-/-/BACKSTAGE /-/-/-/

Hatake Kakashi and Uzumaki Naruto were dressed in normal shinobi uniform now, out of their rather provocative outfits. Both had almost the same expressions on their faces, and both were probably thinking the same thing…

"I won the beeeeeet…" Naruto sang, his hand outstretched to Hatake Kakashi, who sighed and put the wad of bills in his hand. Naruto grinned, pocketing the bills and looked up to Kakashi, "Some night, huh?"

"Sure was." Kakashi replied, pocketing his hands in his pockets and heading towards his dressing room to get his things as Naruto did the same towards his own.

"NARUTO!" Naruto turned, coming to face with a rather flustered Yuuhi Kurenai, still clad in that black dress of hers.

"Ah, Good Evening, Kurenai-san." Naruto grinned at the woman, who approached him. Her locks were covering her eyes, and she was looking rather… down? Not that he could see it; her emotions were masked, "What's wrong?"

In a flash, Kurenai pinned him and slammed him against the walls of the corridor, and fierecely kissed him Naruto sensed everything with wide eyes. He soon relaxed into the kiss, and for breath, she pulled away.

She was a brighter red than her eyes.

"My place or your place?" he managed to say, looking at her.

"Mine." And she kissed him again.

**THE END**

A/N: I dunno; I just might make another song? Do I hear a request for a Kurenai solo or any otehr female Jounin solo?


	3. My Hips Don't Lie, Baby

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Well, here comes chapter 3. Hope you guys aren't angry… I've hit what you would call a slump. Hope you guys are entertained with this piece until further notice.

**My Hips Don't Lie Baby**

Ah, wasn't this absolutely refreshing? The birds were singing, the wind was blowing, and the frogs were leaping from one lily pond to another in the joy that was the season of spring. Of course, that could only mean one thing: more singing from our favorite ninjas! So, anyways, it was a wonderful spring afternoon, and the world was a better place because it was spring? Why? Because it was spring, that's why. What? Doesn't that sentence make sense? Because I am sure it actually did make sense, more or less, about sixty percent sense…

So, anyways! Dear readers, it was a sunny afternoon in Konoha. A sunny Sunday afternoon! Which meant that people were just being lazy, lazy and even more… lazy! Ah, don't you just love the sixth deadly sin? Because I sure do! The delight in just sitting down in your hammock slurping away and eating my cherries and ice creams! Ah, so much that this is not the case of the particular group of aspiring teenage ninjas that were collectively known as the Rookie Twelve… plus Sai! They were all sat around a coffee house, owned by none other than the Academy leacher everyone hated to hate and loved to love; Umino Iruka! Aw, now who doesn't like Umino Iruka? No one? Good.

The coffee shop was known collectively as the Keiko Memorial Teahouse (which we do not know why it is called a Teahouse, since it is so much more a caffeine-filled den of pleasure and staying up past midninght), in memory of a certain whale that Iruka had taken a particular liking to when he was a little child… and got killed in the Kyuubi attack.

Poor, poor Keiko.

So anyways, the shop was owned and run by Umino Iruka, who opened the shop from eight in the moening, to five in the evening. It was one of his greater ideas (in the Chuunin Instructor's head anyways), and he was earning quite a bit of money to boot! Hell, he was making almost twice his salary from the coffee profits alone! The coffee shop Keiko was Iruka's pride and joy! And he had the thanks go to his very very good friend Ebisu, who is more commonly known by Naruto as "Glasses-Hentai", or something or other. So, Iruka had a coffee bar, several sets of tables and chairs in which he could serves guests on, plants stacked here and there in pots near windows, to add serenity to the place, and to top it off, a ceiling painting of Iruka's favourite whale as a child; Keiko!

Hand-painted by Jiraiya himself.

Oh, and for last; there was a recently installed stage… a very big stage; fit for and auditorium-whatchamacallit.

In due time… the stage was going to be lit aflame with talent; looks, and of course, more flashy stuff.

"This is one sorry excuse for a Sunday afternoon." Tenten moaned, slumping in her chair as she sat around the table of young kunoichis; Hinata, Ino and herself. "We could be doing something productive at this very moment! Like-"

"Bargain-shopping?" Hinata offered, and Tenten raised her head. "Um… guy-watching?"

"Guy-watching is _so_ old." Ino rolled her eyes, taking a sip from her java soon after, "I'd much rather go sleep."

"Shikamaru's habit rubbing off ya, huh?" Tenten offered with a grin, and earning a playful glare from the blonde.

"Probably is; I _have_ been around him for a good… what? Three years? It's only natural." Ino shrugged.

"True, true, but you don't see me shouting about the Flames of Youth every now and then." Tenten cocked her head one side.

"Or freezing people with a look." Ino said, making the shy and timid Hinata giggle, "Seriously, though."

"Ano, I think that picking up people's habits can be a good thing." Hinata offered, smiling ever so slightly.

"You're talking about the good habits, Hinata." Ino said, "Would you really want to pick up one of Kiba's bad ones?"

The young Hyuuga heiress had a sudden image of her clad in leather and an evil laugh, standing atop a mountain and bats surrounding her as she watched the village of Konoha burn to the ground.

And on a leash held by her was Kiba, clad in Tarzan-styled clothes and begging.

Bad, bad Hinata.

"Ah, I guess picking up people's habits isn't actually that bad." Tenten said, "Like, let's say, Naruto's guts."

"Ooh! Chouji's kindness!" Ino offered, slapping her hand onto the table, "And Sai's charm!"

"Sai? Charming?" Tenten raised an eyebrow, looking at Ino as if she was mentally down for the count.

"What? He is." Ino sighed, cupping her cheeks and blushing embarrassedly, "He called me _gorgeous_ when we met!"

"That could have originated from the fact that you were wearing your skimpy kunoichi uniform."

Ino pouted, huffing and crossing her arms across her chest, making Tenten giggle ever so slightly as the older girl grinned at the blonde kunoichi. Ah, so the Sunday was not such a boring afternoon after all! You could chat with you friends to get rid of the boredom! Now, why didn't they think of that sooner?

"Say what you want. I still think that Sai is such a charming guy!" Ino sighed.

"Uhuh; _sure_ he is." Tenten rolled her eyes, muttering, "And Neji is Mr Personality of the Millenium; doy."

Tenten's attention then came to a waiter that approached them, a cup of cappuccino safely in his tray, and a wide grin on his face. Hey, he wasn't exactly such a bad-looking guy too! Curly hair, glasses, a cute smile. Not so much Neji, but still quite a cute guy. Tenten was reminded of a puppy; a very very adorable puppy.

"Your cappuccino, Miss." The guy smiled… CUTELY!

"Ah, thank you." Tenten flashed a smile of her own, and the guy left the table of three kunoichi.

"What a way to go into the afternoon." Ino stretched herself, turning to Hinata. "Hinata? You okay?"

"Ano… yes. Things have just been rather slow lately."

"You can say that again."

"Things have just been rather slow lately." Ino said, teasing Tenten.

Hinata smiled at her two friends, before looking around, her eyes widening in sudden realization.

"Ano… has anyone seen Sakura?"

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Uchiha Sasuke was not a happy camper. Not that he was at any point in his teenage life a happy camper, anyways. Here he was, sitting with the males of the Rookie Twelve plus Sai, drinking from his good earl tea. Of course, predictably, he was sitting between two of the members of the Rookies that he disliked the most.

"ONE MORE OOLONG TEA!" came the shouted replied the bowl-cut boy; Rock Lee… ANNOYINGLY!

"…" came the reaction of the stoic Hyuuga Neji. It was hard to differentiate whether he was annoyed or just… quiet.

"You know the weekends are starting to become the death of us…" Shikamaru said, his chin lying upon the surface of the wooden table that the males were seated upon. "What? It is going to be the death of us all. I mean, we got nothing to do, we got no entertainment, but most of all…"

"Naruto's catching the eye of every woman in Konoha." Sasuke and Sai said unanimously, sighing into their cups.

"I sometimes wonder just how the heck did that guy get so popular with all those chicks. I mean, it's just not friggin' natural!" Kiba complained, slamming his closed fist upon the wooden table, causing it to shake, and ultimately, dump a _whole friggin' cupful _of _extremely_ hot tea, onto a rather… unreactive Akimichi Chouji. Sasuke had a vision of a rather fat chicken being boiled in his mother's cooking pot. He would not know why he did, but he did. And so, Chouji's lap was halfway boiled with the tea, and of course, being sensitive to pain, he ended up leaping off his seat. Screaming in anguish. "Whoa! Sorry there, big guy!" Chouji was deaf to his surroundings, screaming in pain. "Is it _that_ painful?"

"The tea is cooking his groin, Kiba." came Shino's answer, as Chouji rolled around the ground. He looked like a ball.

"Oh." Kiba turned red, embarrassed and sorry at the same time. He looked at the rolling Chouji. "Er… ouch."

"KIBA! IF I DON'T HAVE KIDS I AM _SO _GOING TO COOK YOU FOR DINNER!" came the anguished call, making the teahouse rock on its foundations as Sasuke held onto the table for support.

Sai sighed, and taking the initiative, took a jug of cold water from the waiter that had served Tenten and the girls, and had proceeded to pour its contents over Akimichi Chouji, who had released his gargantuan hands from his groin, and had stopped rolling, opting for a rather pleasing, and to most of the guys, disturbing, expression.

"Sai, I could kiss you so much right now." Chouji smiled. Sai didn't return it.

"Don't Although I may seem like it, I am not a homosexual." Sai replied seriously, sipping his tea.

Yaoi fangirls all-round drooped their heads in disappointment. And some of them even sobbed openly, looking to the Almighty One above, questioning the eternal question; "Why were the good ones always _straight_?". Uchiha Sasuke, however, took this as an opportunity to take a shot at the adolescent male, smirking the Devil's smirk in his direction.

"Heh, smart words, coming out of the voice of a guy that has such a… feminine disposition." Sasuke said.

Sai stopped in mid-drink, his closed eyes finding Uchiha Sasuke's coal ones. Neji fought the urge to hit a challenge gong. Kiba looked at Sai, who seemed to be at a lost for words. Shino merely raised an eyebrow in Sasuke's direction.

"You would know, wouldn't you? After all, you're the one that displays such girly looks, Uchiha." Sai shot back.

Neji smirked ever so slightly, enjoying the banter that was going on… EVILLY! He was finally going to have the spotlight of "Dark, Cold and Angsty" of Konoha once these two had killed each other off. Therefore, all the women would swoon over him! Yes! And soon, he would have his harem of women, and all of them would have girls! And he was going to name them all Neji Junior! Boy, that felt evil!

"Your oolong tea, sir." A waiter came, with Lee's hot tea in his tray, "Enjoy."

"Thank you, waiter-san! May youth bless you!" Lee said, swiping the tea from the tray, and the waiter was off back to the kitchen, or counter, or whatever that thingy was called. "Ah, there's nothing like some good oolong tea."

As Sasuke and Sai glared at each other, Lee happily sipped his tea, glad that for once, he had a beverage to make him happy! YOSH! Now, just like Naruto, he would-

Hey, wait just a second. Something wasn't right here…

Where was Naruto?

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Hatake Kakashi was always a patient man. A bit perverted, but nonetheless, an extremely patient man. However, his patience was wearing thin at the current moment, namely because the _thing _that his patience was being tested with was the one single bane of his existence; the one and only Maito Gai, the Taijutsu Genius of Konohagakure no Sato. Kakashi was very tempted to use the Chidori right then and there, and if not for the incredibly annoying bantering of Gai, he would have remembered the handseals required. Blast that ability of his!

"MY ETERNAL RIVAL! LET US PAY TRIBUTE TO THIS DAY WITH ANOTHER CONTEST OF SKILL!"

"No."

"HOW UNYOUTHFUL OF YOU TO NOT ACCEPT THIS INVITATION, MY RIVAL!" Gai bellowed once more, and Kakashi was beginning to lose the threads of his very sanity.

Kakashi looked around, for anything that would make him be rid of this _thing _that was tearing away at his mind. He found nothing of use, and in a flash, found himself staring at Baki and Asuma. Somehow, those two had gotten ahold of a pair of earplugs. Someohow; just somehow…

Kakashi began to cry, knowing that it would be useless to resist. He would fall anyway…

But Hell be damned if he was going to go down without a fight! He was the Copy Ninja Hatake Kakashi! He would get through this. He had trained three brats into… semi-good ninjas… right? Yeah! And he also had the famed one thousand Jutsus in his arsenal right? Right!

He was Hatake Kakashi! Number one and would always emerge triumphant, no matter what the odds!

Was he going to bow down to this thing that stood before him?

"HELL NO! YOSH!"

And so, that, my friends, is how Hatake Kakashi succumbed to the Flames of Youth.

May God have mercy upon his soul.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

If one took a look at the table where Yuuhi Kurenai, Mitarashi Anko, Tsunade the Godaime, Shizune and Suzume were sitting, one would think that they were having some sort of staring contest. Well, they would be three-fifths correct, because, at the moment, three of the five women were caught in a glaring contest with each other. The three were (as if you wouldn't already know), Tsunade, Kurenai and Anko. Having a three-way glaring contest.

"Honestly, how long are you three going to keep at this?" Suzume voiced, sounding like the adult she was.

"Until this psycho stops trying to take Naruto away from me!" came Tsunade's reply, her eyes so furious one would think that she could melt diamonds and steel with her glare. Of course, she was staring at Mitarashi Anko.

"All's fair in love and war, _Hokage-sama_." Anko gave a predator's grin, provoking the older woman to just try and take a swing at her. "I don't think that I'll ever see you two together, anyways, that kawaii Naruto with you? _Please_."

"Well, that would stake my claim on him, then. _I_, after all, was the first to date him. It's blatantly obvious that he likes me over the two of you." Kurenai gave a proud smirk, crossing her arms, only to come under the full force of the glares that the two women projected. "We even kissed that night. That _so _puts me in the lead, ne?" she teased the two.

"Why don't you just go and flirt with Asuma, bimbo?" Tsunade burned, and Kurenai gritted her teeth in anger.

"Why don't _you _just go ahead and live happily ever after with you perverted sennin, hmm?" Kurenai shot back.

Tsunade's glare intensity rose up several notches. Title be _damned_! Naruto was hers, God damn it! She was the first of this females to notice him once he turned fourteen. She was the one that had saved Naruto! HELL! _She _was the first one among the women to actually kiss him. Granted, that was with platonic feelings, but still! There was a friggin' point here! She was here first! He was hers! Hers I tell you!

And may the title of Hokage be damned if she won't get her man.

"He is _mine_." Tsunade rose from her chair, leaning over one hand and glaring triumphantly at her subordinates.

"I don't see your name on him! He's as much mine as he is yours!"

"You mean _mine_. _I_ was the first one among you to get a date with him. He even kissed me!"

"You mean _you _kissed him."

"He invited me over for dinner! _And _he cooked too!" Kurenai went on, smirking as the two women sported disbelieving looks. So, she decided to stretch it just a bit more, "And Hell, was he good in bed!"

Dignity be damned, Tsunade leapt across the table and pounced on Kurenai, and engaged in an all-out catfight. Shizune tried miserably to calm the two kunoichis down, as they clawed, hair-tugged, and that times, attempted to rip each other's clothes off.

Anko, not one to let loose her _claim _on the kawaii no kitsune (or so, goes his title), jumped in on the catfight. Which, of course, lasted only so long until the bouncers (Morino Ibiki's cousins from his father's side), pried the women away from each other, and made them sit down, shut up, and drink their goddamn tea.

But of course, that would only mean one thing.

A cold and silent three-way war for the heart of Uzumaki Naruto, and whatever else was attached to it.

No rules…

No limits…

To borrow a quote, "No man is luckier than the one who has three hot chicks after him."

…Damn you, Naruto.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Gaara was bored.

"I am bored."

"…"

"…"

"Find me a woman."

Kankurou cried manly tears.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Behind the curtains of the stage that Iruka had built for his teahouse, two figures were talking to each other quietly, and rapidly. If one could distinguish them, one was a male, presumably within the stages of early adolescence, and a female, who was probably going through the same phase.

"Wow, do you see the crowd out there?" the female went, taking a peek from behind the curtains.

"I sure do; boy, this is gonna be so much fun." The male went on, getting all giddy.

"You think very strangely."

"Strange minds think great things." The male puffed, proud and holier than thou.

"They also think weird things." She mumbled to herself afterward, "And to think, I liked you…"

"Hm? What was that?" the male could be seen grinning. "You _like _me?"

"Ah!" she was blushing now. "I mean _liked_!"

"Okay, you two; you're both on in thirty seconds." Iruka had come, a headphone on, with a microphone attached to the set, clad in his Keiko Memorial Teahouse t-shirt, giving an 'okay' signal.

"Yosh! Let's steal the show!"

"You're the only act I got on."

"Oh."

Silence reigned…

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Inuzuka Kiba took a sip out of his tea, leaning against his chair as he sat with the guys, comfortable and slightly wary of the fact that Chouji was glaring at him every chance the big-boned boy got. Kiba, every now and then, shifted his legs so that they would be well-protected against any possible assault that Chouji could have on them. Baika no Jutsu, Bubun Baika, anything that could come his way. Chouji could break down a whole fortress by himself, if given the right motivation, and of course, revenge upon another man's manhood was perfect motivation.

Kiba just hoped he could outrun Chouji when the boy went for his blood and guts, or in this case, his manhood.

In the midst of his thoughts, suddenly (by a good camouflage job), confetti cannons were revealed, shooting… confetti (DUH!) into the air, full of bright colours and such, giving a boom of cheery atmosphere to the otherwise boring day.

Trumpet music began to play throughout the teahouse area, as if announcing the arrival of royalty. Kiba recognized the sound as a southern trumpet, and was bewildered to have heard one after such a long time. These were old school instruments!

Suddenly, the stage curtains were moved, revealing none other than Uzumaki Naruto, clad in a white suit and a matching white hat, a black undershirt, and no tie in sight. The trumpet continued to play, and some of the females in the crowd that watched with interest blushed at how _damn good _the boy looked in a suit. He grinned to the audience, taking a bow, as the trumpet played.

Another set of curtains were gone behind Naruto, a background painting of a sunset in all it's glory was there, as well as several other men, all of them having musical instruments in their hands, and clad in the same way as Naruto, except that they were dressed in a more formal style than Naruto, although the style remained true to itself.

Naruto grinned to the audience, as a microphone was tossed his way, which he caught by the pole. And with one last look, he spoke into it, with a thick tone, very much unlike what the Rookie Twelve was used to hearing.

_Ladies up in here tonight,  
No fighting, no fighting,_

_We got the refugees up in here,_

_No fighting, no fighting,_

He cast one look to the side of the stage, grinning all the while, and the audience, confused, followed his direction of turn, and all males went into a tate of shock at the words he uttered next.

_Sakura, Sakura,_

And lo and behold! Haruno Sakura appeared, dressed like an Egyptian belly dancer, in the most revealing and imaginative clothes man could create in their minds; a red set of belly dancer clothes, tight and constricting, Her shoulder-length pink hair was like a halo, shaping her adorable face into a seductive and youthful visage. Tsunade's jaw drop; Sakura was as pretty as _her_! Sakura grinned at the audience, as the males jaws dropped.

And once more, the males cursed the existence of Uzumaki Naruto. Including me.

_I never really knew that she could dance like this,  
She makes a man want to speak Spanish,_

Sakura approached Naruto, grinning like a cat, flaunting her rather shapely hips to him and the audience as she danced around him, like a snake that was circling its pray. Kakashi gaped as he watched his former students on the stage, unable to get it clear in his head that Haruno Sakura was going to turn into a _fine_ woman.

With those hips, she could conquer the world.

"I know I should have spent more attention on Sakura," the open pervert sobbed into his arms, as Asuma consoled him, finally having removed his earplugs.

"There, there, Kakashi; look on the bright side; she's almost legal!" Asuma grinned.

Kakashi grinned under his facemask. YES! Only five-hundred more days till she's sixteen!

_Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa,  
Sakura, Sakura,_

Naruto turned to his partner, who had twirled into his arms as her lines began, she took the mic from Naruto, smiling in that sexy demeanor of hers. Most of the audience were reminded of a mischievous vixen, if one could brand her. Hinata was blushing; from embarrassment and of course, from her own jealous feelings. Ino's jaw had dropped to the ground.

There was no way in _Hell_ that she would have thought those two would get together.

_Oh baby when you talk like that,  
You make a woman go mad,_

Sakura pulled out a scarf from somewhere, which, to be noted, was actually around five feet in length, and could be argued to be around four feet in length, and of course, made of high quality silk. She twirled around in it, wrapping it around her body for good measure, resulting in her wandering into the fantasies of some of the Rookie Twelve members present at the teahouse.

She showed her back to the audience, the slightly pale skin on her back only increasing the allure that she had.

_So be wise and keep on,  
Reading the signs of my body,_

She, somehow, wrapped the cloth around her two wrists, making it to look as though she was vulnerable, easily taken, and in all rights, available, to the male audience that had presented themselves at Iruka's teahouse. Some of the male civilians that were present visibly swallowed and felt their clothes grow three sizes too small.

And their pants felt as though they were eight sizes too small.

The girls would wonder how in the world Haruno Sakura had that affect on the guys that were present at the moment.

_And I'm on tonight,  
You know my hips don't lie,  
And I'm starting to feel it's right,_

Sakura spun around with her scarf, letting the sun soak up the red of her clothes (or Almost clothes, depending on your view), and make her look as though she was a woman of fire, aggressive and alluring, just as the older kunoichi were.

And through it all, Naruto just grinned, taking of his hat and throwing it to the audience, where one of the female civilians present caught it, squealing something about "he really loves me!" and something incoherent. To Naruto's ears anyway. He spun around, and came face-to-face with his teammate, who had a hand on his chance, her voice low and sensual.

_All the attraction, the tension,  
Don't you see baby, this is perfection,_

There was a pause, and, as if in slow motion, Sakura handed Naruto the microphone, before grinning and pulling away, adopting a still look as she danced in one spot, her hips moving so slowly… so sensually… her shoulders bunching up and down like they were meant to…

Naruto grinned ever so slightly, some of his hair covering one eye, making him look more like a predator than anything.

And Haruno Sakura was to be his prey.

_Hey Girl, I can see your body moving,  
And it's driving me crazy,_

Naruto took several steps towards Sakura, his steps looking as though they were like a tiger's waiting to pounce upon the unsuspecting deer that was passing by. Sakura backed away slowly, like a snake, recoiling back after the first strike.

Hyuuga Neji's face was livid. How could Uzumaki Naruto, of all people, be so lucky with the girls of the ninja world. It just wasn't fair! He had the looks! The charm! The super-angsty background that would make every woman want to bow down and scream "Take me! " What was it about Uzumaki Naruto that just made him so darn appealing towards the females of Konoha? And, not forgetting, the one from Suna.

"Damn it, why does he get all the girls! It's just not fair!" Neji banged his head onto the wooden table.

Miraculously, nothing spilled onto anybody's lap and groin, so therefore, there would be no revenge shticks!

_And I didn't have the slightest idea,  
Until I saw you dancing,_

Naruto approached, Sakura, taking her by the waist and pulling her closer. Sakura had leaned back a little, using the blonde's hand for support, and Naruto, for some time, was embarrassed? Why? Because; Sakura had one knee between his legs.

One damned sexy leg between his legs. Yup; God was finally paying off what was due.

_And when you walk up on the dance floor,  
Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl,_

Naruto pressed Sakura up against his chest, or it seemed like it. In reality, Sakura had forced herself onto Naruto's chest, in a move that made it just look like Naruto was doing the work. Naruto, undistracted (miraculously, in any case, since most males would right there and then, lose self control over themselves), proceeded to dance with Sakura, and move slightly away from her, as the band behind them played again.

_And everything's so unexpected - the way you right and left it,  
So you can keep on taking it,_

Naruto moved away from a now grinning Sakura, and had proceeded to continue with his lyrics, giving her a very small smile of apology as he did. Not that Sakura cared; she was positively enjoying this experience!

Naruto brought the mic close to his lips, swaying to the ensuing beat as the audience began to get loose and do dances in their own seats, and some of them had even come up to the floor just before the stage, and began to dance with heir partners, or in most of the female's case, friends. So what if it was Sunday? This greatly compensated for that fact!

_I never really knew that she could dance like this,  
She makes a man want to speak Spanish,  
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa,  
Sakura, Sakura,_

Sakura swiped the mic away from Uzumaki Naruto, and began her lines once more, but not before giving the audience a cat-like grin of pure bliss and happiness.

_Oh boy, I can see your body moving,  
Half animal, half man,  
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing,  
But you seem to have a plan,_

Sakura was greeted with Naruto, jumping between her and the audience, who, by the looks of things, had appeared to have finally broken loose on a Sunday afternoon. Hell, even Chouji was out there on the floor doing his thing with a civilian female; not that Naruto knew who it was. However, two, no, make that three, of the Rookie Twelve males were not on the dance floor with their other males.

Uchiha Sasuke, the Sharingan Genius, Hyuuga Neji, the Byakugan Genius and Sai, who was… Sai.

_My will and self restraint,  
Have come to fail now, fail now,  
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know,  
That's a bit too hard to explain,_

Sakura threw the mic in Naruto's direction, and he caught it with one hand, and turned to the audience, as Haruno Sakura danced her way around him, circling him once more. This time, it took Naruto almost all his willpower to stay in his spot and keep the act up.

_Baila en la calle de noche,  
Baila en la calle de dia,_

Sakura then twirled into Naruto, and the both of the spoke into the mic, their eyes reflecting pure bliss and nothing else, with their lips barely away from each other, and of course, barely away from the mic.

Once more, the patrons that were watching the show, cursed the existence of the microphone, to be able to take the attention of the performers just like that.

_Baila en la calle de noche,  
Baila en la calle de dia,_

Sakura pushed Naruto away lightly, before giving him a personal dance, causing the Bloodline Geniuses to flare up and glare at the stage. Naruto had always gotten lucky! This was injustice! This was not fair! This was truly not fair! This couldn't be fair! You know why? Because Sasuke and Neji were getting nothing.

_Damn you, dobe, how could you hook up with such a hot chick? Damn you,_ Sasuke cursed, Sharingan spinning.

Of course, dear Uchiha Sasuke, if you had just stuck around and tried to communicate with Sakura back in the day, you could have been in naruto's position right now. But instead, you have to now sit back and enjoy the consequences that you brought over yourself. Ah, what sweet irony.

Now it was Sasuke who was chasing after Sakura, who was chasing after Naruto.

Wait, make that a _hot _Sakura.

Naruto smirked ever so slightly, bringing the mic close to his lips as Sakura began to dance like the belly dancer she was, hips gyrating, shoulders pumping, chest heaving… the works! Man, and to think that she wasn't even legal yet! But of course, Sakura, was first and foremost his friend, and he thought of her as that.

Too bad Tsunade, Kurenai and Anko didn't.

_I never really knew that she could dance like this,_

_She makes a man want to speak Spanish,_

_Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa,  
Sakura, Sakura,_

"That is some poor Spanish." Gaara said, watching the proceedings.

His brother and sister only nodded in response.

Sakura was given the microphone, and she sang into it, looking all the while at Naruto, who had one hand in the pockets of his pants, watching Sakura move as she sang the lyrics like a true singer.

_Oh baby when you talk like that,  
You know you got me hypnotized,  
So be wise and keep on,  
Reading the signs of my body,_

Of course, upon Naruto's attention being taken by another female, the three kunoichis that supposedly formed Naruto's love-square, were faced with a problem. And a lot of negative emotions.

Like… envy.

_You think you have him, do you, Sakura? Just you wait! Just you wait! I am soooo going to snatch him, _thought the blonde Hokage, watching the proceedings with a… disturbingly evil look on her face…

Okaaaay…

_Ehehehe, you may have won this battle, but you haven't won the war,_ Kurenai cackled evilly in her mind, smirking the Devil's smirk as she leaned against her chair.

_Must… kill… pinky… must… _I don't think you'll need an explanation on who said that… Anko, duh!

Naruto sang his next lyrics, grinning his fox-grin as he did so, looking at Sakura.

_Señorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Konoha,_

The trumpet went with its solo, and Sakura twirled around with her silk scarf, smiling her Mona Lisa smile as she did so, catching the curiousity (and perverted visions) of quite a few males. It was a definite turn-on.

_Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi, say it!  
Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi,_

The audience followed the lyrics, and most of the males followed Sakura's moves, dancing to the beat of the music. She twirled back into Naruto's arms, and handed him th mic, which he sang into next, his voice adopting the tone and deepness of a rapper, which proved to the women that he was all the more appealing.

Even Sakura.

_Yeah,  
She's so sexy every man's fantasy,  
A refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country,_

_I go back like when 'pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty_,

"Those lyrics definitely _do not _make sense." Shikamaru said, not that nybody was listening.

Hell, they were too busy dancing.

_I need a whole club dizzy  
Why the ANBU wanna watch us?  
Nukenins and runaways,  
I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction,  
No more we do snatch ropes,  
Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats,_

Naruto felt a tug around his neck and looked down to see Sakura pulling down on him, with her scarf around his neck, the smooth silk causing a somewhat tickling sensation throughout his body. It made his collar seem three sizes smaller.

That was not a good sign.

Even so, he held his ground.

Sakura, being mischievous, took the mic right out of Naruto's hands, and sang her next lyrics, moving her body in that fashion that made men so entranced by her.

Even the male Jounins.

_I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie,  
And I'm starting to feel you boy,  
Come on let's go, real slow,  
Baby, like this is perfecto,_

Sakura then, did the unexpected, and in one swift motion, she used her strength, and pushed Uzumaki Naruto onto the ground, and proceeded to bend down slowly, in such a motion that the present females felt their jaws drop.

_Oh, you know I'm on tonight and my hips don't lie,  
And I'm starting to feel it's right,_

Sakura bent down upon her teammate, hovering over him, one of her legs between his legs as she laid on top of him, one arm to support her weight, and the other holding the microphone, as her pink hair fell forwards, covering some of her face. Her breath was warm, and she was so full of energy that she could just…

He felt Sakura's knee caressing his… _thing_.

Oh _God_.

She whispered the next lyrics into Naruto's ear, bringing the mic close to her lips so that everyone would here it as well.

_The attraction, the tension,  
Baby, like this is perfection,_

She looked to the audience, some of her hair having fallen forwards, and licked her lips in an Anko-like fashion.

_No fighting_

The curtains closed, and the audience erupted into cheers, applauding loudly and whistling and shoting for an encore.

And that was that.

/-/-/-/BACKSTAGE/-/-/-/

Naruto was blushing so hard one would think that he could have lit a room. Haruno Sakura, however, was grinning all-out at him; from dominance or joy he would not know.

Not that he wanted to know.

"Come on, Naruto, can't you take a joke?" Sakura giggled as Naruto turned twenty shades redder.

"Sakura, you practically… er… you know!" Naruto was so bright red, it was cute in Sakura's eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I know what I did, but seriously, you would think that hanging out with Tsunade-shishou would give you some exposure." Sakura grinned, before playing with one of her outfit's straps, licking her lips, "Or _did _she?"

Naruto turned even darker, if one could see, and he promptly backed away slightly. At that moment, the door opened, revealing Tsunade, with a smile on her face, challenging and strong; Sakura replied with an identical look.

"I won't lose Naruto-kun to you."

"Same here."

And when Kurenai and Anko came in, Naruto knew his Fate was sealed.

Poor, poor Naruto…

Or should we say _Lucky_?

A/N: I AM EXHAUSTED! falls unconscious onto keyboard, snoring. Oh, and please tell me which two people you want to sing next chapter. Remember; Naruto has to be involved in some way. He doesn't have to sing; so please, details. Oh, and for those agsty-rock songs with heavy metal sounds? I ain't writing 'em. Good night.


End file.
